The Stoplight
Approach
The Stoplight Approach is an approach to life for everyone, and specifically effective for those caring for vulnerable children, those with adverse childhood experiences, and children with special needs. Stoplight is designed to foster environments that connect people, create caring communities, and a give hope for a kinder world. Before we can make that future a reality, however, we need to first understand how the human brain works and realize how this can impact our own lives and the lives of those around us.
It’s as simple as ABCDE!
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A - Awareness
Be aware of your emotional state and that of others.
The brain is the control centre of the human body and it consists of three main components.
Red Brain
Scared, very sad, in danger
Fight, Flight, or Freeze
Only using 50% of IQ
Feeling unsafe
yellow brain
Tired, worried, stressed
Only using 75% of IQ
Feeling disconnected
Green Brain
Happy, safe, content, curious
Able to empathize
Using 100% of IQ
Ready to learn
Red Brain & Yellow Brain help us protect ourselves in survival situations, but being in them for too long is damaging for us. Green Brain is the goal, for ourselves and those around us for healthy, longterm growth and human flourishing.
B - Behavior
Get yourself and others back to Green.
We all wish we could live in Green Brain, but often events and experiences send us into Yellow or Red. We need to learn strategies that will help us get back to Green. Once in Green ourselves, we can begin to help others get to Green as well.
Calming
People in Red feel unsafe
Be calm and gentle with them and help them to feel safe
Connection
People in Yellow feel unloved
Show them that you value and accept them. Look for their unmet needs
Coaching
People in Green are ready to learn
Have fun, learn together, and try new things!
C - Connection
Practice empathy to connect with those around you.
Empathy means looking at a situation from another person’s perspective in order to understand how they feel. When we practice empathy we begin to understand the motivations behind a person’s actions. Practicing empathy allows us to build relationships with others.
When working with children, it is especially important to consider why they acted the way they did.
Punishment makes the child feel unsafe and unloved, sending them into Yellow or Red. In these brain states they will have a much harder time learning from you.
The Stoplight Approach allows us to become aware of the brain state of the child, help them get back into Green, and then use empathy to understand their actions. Once they are in Green, we can teach them how to do better next time.
D - Decision
Decide each day what kind of person you want to be.
Everyone has a moral identity, whether we realize it or not. When we connect with others and practice empathy, we can intentionally decide what kind of person we want to be, and what kind of effect we want our actions to have on those around us.
It is up to you:
What colour do you want to live in?
What colour do you want to put those around you in?
No one is perfect. We all slip into Yellow & Red and do things we are not proud of. The important part is that we get ourselves back to Green and repair the relationship.
E - Engagement
Actively seek to help others by meeting their needs.
Take action! Make the world a better place by looking for people in Yellow & Red and help them get back into Green. Once we decide who we want to be, we can actively engage the world around us. So what are you going to do?
F - Frequency
Grow emotional intelligence by practicing your new skills every day.
Our brains have the ability to learn, change, and grow.
Create Green habits. Don’t get stuck - learn from mistakes.
Celebrate even small successes.
You can change - and help others to change!
Step #1:
Grab your copy of The ABC’s of Stoplight booklet for a more in-depth look at Stoplight’s core philosophy! It simplifies excerpts from various larger Stoplight resources, to provide a deeper understanding of what Stoplight is, as well as how to apply and use in your own personal life!
Step #2:
You can access a number of our other resources below. Between videos, books, and brochures you’ll be equipped to with tools and a greater understanding of Stoplight’s philosophy in your day-to-day lives.
Know it
Review what you have learned and learn more.
Use it
Learn to apply The Stoplight Approach to your life.
Share it
Spread the word. Help us continue changing lives.